


Pizza Boy

by dinosaursmate



Series: Friends AUs [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends AU, M/M, Sex Mentions, Swearing, based on a Friends plotline, no smut really, pizza boy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-08-21 19:31:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8257777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaursmate/pseuds/dinosaursmate
Summary: “You just flirted with the pizza boy. On your anniversary! Liam’s in the next room!!”“Alright, alright, calm down. I was not flirting, I was just being friendly.”“Unbelievable.” Harry scoffed, expressing his irritation.Niall joined them in the kitchen, pulling open the pizza box greedily and helping himself to a slice.“Harry’s just upset ‘cause you flirted with his boy.” Niall smirked.-Harry fancies the pizza boy and attempts to flirt.Based on the Friends episode The One Where Ross Can't Flirt.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Big kissies to [Steph](http://mommotommo.tumblr.com/) for betaing this and being all-round wonderful.

 

It had been a year. A whole year. Harry watched Liam and Zayn giggling quietly in the kitchen together and felt a mingling of pride and envy. He was so, so happy for them, celebrating their first anniversary with a fancy dinner date that they would be leaving for shortly. But Harry had been single for almost that entire year and watching them together occasionally brought a dull thud of longing.

Still, at least he had Niall. Straight, Irish, blonde, smelly Niall.

“I had a burrito for lunch.” Niall warned him. “I wouldn’t sit too close. I have a feeling I’m gonna be nuclear tonight.”

Harry sighed, plonking himself down on the armchair, well away from where Niall was laying on the sofa.

“I’m gonna dump you as soon as I can.” He informed Niall. “As soon as I get a boyfriend, I’m sacking you off. Just like Liam did.”

“I’m alright for a while, then.” Niall snorted. Harry threw a cushion at his head.

“Don’t wreck the place while we’re gone.” Zayn warned the pair of them as Liam disappeared into their bedroom to get dressed. “You wreck my flat, I’ll wreck your face.”

“So aggressive.” Harry sighed, putting his feet up on the coffee table and enjoying Zayn’s shoulders stiffening. “It’s your anniversary, relax a bit, have some fun.”

There was a knock at the door and Zayn shot Harry a dark look.

“You'd better watch you don't get banned from this flat.” Zayn warned, before answering the door, smiling at the pizza boy.

“Louis!” Zayn cried fondly. “Long time no see babe, how are you?”

“Zayn! You look nice.”

“Well, I didn’t get dressed up to eat pizza.” He smirked charmingly. “I’m off out.”

“Ah.” Louis nodded.

Harry nearly fell off his chair from craning his neck to see the man in the doorway. His suspicions were confirmed; it was the hot pizza boy. Like… really hot.

“You’re looking good!” Zayn smiled. “You been working out?”

“Oh, no…” Louis laughed. “I’ve been doing some extra shifts at the restaurant. I’ve been taking in the deliveries so I’ve er, bulked up a little.” He grinned, flexing his muscles.

“Well, keep up the good work.” Zayn said, tiling his head slightly and winking, finally handing over the money. “Thanks.”

“I’ll see you guys later.” Louis said, before briefly waving to Harry and Niall and leaving.

“Erm…” Harry climbed to his feet and approached Zayn in an accusing manner. “What the hell was that?”

“What?!”

“You just flirted with the pizza boy. On your anniversary! Liam’s in the next room!!”

“Alright, alright, calm down. I was not flirting, I was just being friendly.”

“Unbelievable.” Harry scoffed, expressing his irritation.

Niall joined them in the kitchen, pulling open the pizza box greedily and helping himself to a slice.

“Harry’s just upset ‘cause you flirted with his boy.” Niall smirked.

“What?!” Harry protested with a slight panic in his voice. “That is… _so_ not accurate, I-”

“Shut up.” Niall laughed, mouth full. He looked down at the pizza box. “Shit, I just realised. Your boy forgot my garlic bread.”

“Ohhh, no!” Zayn smirked, picking up his phone. “Now he has to come back. And I’ll probably be gone, or far too busy to answer the door.”

“Mm, me too.” Niall grinned.

A blush crept up on Harry’s face as he watched Zayn talk to the pizza place on the phone. His shitty little friends knew full well he found it difficult to talk to boys. Okay, Harry was very, very charming, and he knew it. But when it came to chatting up people he was attracted to, well… Let’s just say he’d seen less disastrous plane crashes.

“What’s going on?” Liam said, coming back into the living space. “Atmosphere’s weird.”

“Zayn was flirting with the pizza boy.” Harry announced.

“Harry!” Zayn exclaimed. “Mate, why? Why would you do that?”

Harry rolled his eyes petulantly.

“Oh, babe!” Liam said indulgently, a big grin on his face. “It’s okay. I know I don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Thank you, Li.” Zayn said, pulling a face at Harry. “Harry’s getting his knickers in a twist because he can’t flirt for shit and Louis is currently on his way back to deliver garlic bread.”

“I can flirt just fine!” Harry protested, feeling argumentative even though every word was true. “Worked on you.”

“Oh, babe.” Zayn smirked, cupping Harry’s chin with his hand. “I’m not sure one date counts as working. You never even got me into bed.”

“Shut up.” Harry mumbled.

“Well, Harry…” Liam smiled warmly, slapping a hand around his shoulder. “I’m glad it didn’t work, otherwise it could be you two celebrating your anniversary.”

Harry pulled a mildly disgusted face, only briefly as a knock on the door made his face go slack in fear.

“I’m getting it!” He announced, despite no one else making a move. He strode over to the door, taking a breath and ruffling his long curls. He grabbed the door handle. “Shit, what’s his name again?!”

“Louis.” His three friends growled in unison. Zayn leaned over and slapped his palm clean across Harry’s face, making him squeal loudly. Harry’s face flushed red as he pulled the door open, still dazed by the assault.

“Hi, sorry!” Louis smiled, dazzling. Harry couldn’t breathe. “It wasn’t my fault, I swear.”

“It’s okay!” Harry grinned, breathy and high-pitched. Somewhere in the background Harry heard Niall snort with amusement. Harry took the box, turning to place it on the table and scowling at Niall as he glanced over.

“It’s £4.99.” Louis said, leaning his elbow on the doorframe up by his head. Harry’s lips parted; Louis’ tanned, shapely bicep twitched and as Louis glanced down to the floor, long, gorgeous eyelashes fanning on his cheeks, Harry’s eyes swept down his body. He wore a red polo shirt with the pizza restaurant’s logo embroidered over his left pec, and tight black trousers that may or may not be jeggings (Harry couldn’t tell). When his eyes reached Louis’, Louis was staring at him expectantly.

“Oh…” Harry mumbled, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. “So do you ever eat these pizzas yourself? I mean, in the restaurant, not when you’re delivering them. I suppose you probably could eat one if you dropped it and ruined it?”

“Um-”

“Anyway, if you’re ever delivering here, we’ll always be up for giving you a… piece-a pizza.”

“Fucking hell.” Zayn sighed from behind the door.

Louis pushed himself from the doorframe, pushing his hands into his pockets, his pizza bag under his arm.

“Right, well, I’ve got some more deliveries to make, so…” He cleared his throat, looking pointedly at Harry’s wallet. Harry jumped to his senses and handed Louis a £5 note.

“Keep the change, Louis.” He beamed. Louis blinked at him before holding a hand up in farewell. He strode off down the hall, Harry watching him and letting out a small whine as Louis’ pert, round bum caught the light.

“Jesus, I want to die.” Niall wailed.

“What?” Harry asked accusingly.

“Every single second of that was excruciating.” Niall sighed. “You just gave the poor bastard a 1p tip!”

The fact washed over Harry and he dropped his face into his hands. He was literally hopeless.

“Never mind, mate.” Liam patted him on the back. “Next time, eh?”

“Face it.” Zayn said. “If there was any chance Louis would’ve been interested, you’ve definitely scared him off, now.”

“Zayn.” Liam scolded gently. “Don’t listen to him, Haz.”

Harry’s lips tightened and he glared at Zayn, keeping eye contact with him as he rang the restaurant and ordered another pizza.

x

Harry leapt from the sofa when a knock sounded from the front door. He took a deep breath, trying not to despair too much. He glanced at Niall who gave a half-hearted encouraging nod.

“Me, again.” Louis said with a small smile. He seemed a bit twitchy - impatient, maybe? Harry’s heart sank; maybe Zayn was right, maybe Harry was repelling Louis. He had to win Louis back round.

“We can’t keep eating like this.” Harry joked, and in a split second he realised it was game over. He clenched his eyes shut and let out a frustrated moan.

“Are you alright?” Louis asked him.

“I’m fine.” He said miserably, taking the pizza.

“It’s £12.99.”

Harry handed him a £20 note.

“Keep the change, love. Thanks.”

“Oh… Really? Thanks!”

“Bye.”

Harry shut the door, storming into Zayn and Liam’s spare room, and slamming the door behind him, ignoring the various shouts from his friends of varying levels of consolation and mocking.

x

Harry jerked awake, looking around him dazedly. Niall was spread out on the sofa, snoring gently, and Harry was curled up in the armchair. The DVD they’d been watching was looping the menu screen and Harry’s phone screen informed him it was gone 1am. He uncurled himself, stretching. He stilled with his arms and legs jutting out at weird angles when he heard a soft knocking.

He quietly stood to his feet, creeping past Niall to the front door. He widened his eyes in surprise - he couldn’t believe who he saw through the peephole.

“Hi.” He whispered as he opened the door. “Erm…”

“Hi, sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Erm…” Harry said again, ruffling his hair and blinking heavily. “I’m not sure.”

Louis smirked. Harry searched his fuzzy brain for possible reasons he was here. He tried to stifle a yawn.

“I, um…” Louis sighed. “I just finished work and I wanted to come and apologise.”

“Apologise?” Harry rubbed his eyes.

“For forgetting the garlic bread, and because of that I really should’ve refused your generous tip. It wasn’t deserved.”

“Thought you said it wasn’t your fault?”

“Yeah well, umm…” Louis scratched at his stubbled chin. “I felt awful about it.”

Harry just blinked at him, confused.

“Anyway,” Louis continued, “while I’m here… Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to get something to eat, but that’s a bit stupid, really, since you guys had a lot of pizza… or I was gonna ask you to get something to drink but you’ve clearly been asleep so I-”

“My flat is just behind you.” Harry smiled. “How about I make you a drink?”

“Umm- okay.”

Harry didn't know what was going on, but he relaxed under Louis’ obvious nerves. He walked Louis into the flat, opening the fridge and staring into it.

“Shit. Niall drank everything.”

“A cup of tea will do.” Louis smiled.

Harry smiled to him before frowning. No milk either.

Harry crept back into Liam and Zayn’s, tiptoeing towards the fridge and stealing the milk carton. As he was about to leave, the front door opened and Liam and Zayn came tumbling through the door, mouths fused and their hands a muddle of frantic groping.

“Get out.” Zayn mumbled at Harry against Liam’s mouth. “Unless you wanna see a show, get out.”

“I’d actually probably be tempted to take you up on that, if Louis the pizza boy wasn’t currently waiting in my flat.”

“What?!” Zayn said, finally pulling his mouth away from Liam. He never found out; he was dragged into his bedroom by Liam, door slamming unceremoniously behind them. Harry craned over the sofa; Niall was still fast asleep.

When he returned to his flat, Louis was sitting up on the counter, swinging his legs slightly. He smiled warmly upon Harry’s return.

“It’s just dawned on me how rude and self-absorbed I’m being.” He smiled regretfully. “I’ve just come up and been like, ‘hiya stranger, make me a cup of tea at 1am when you were trying to sleep.’”

“It’s fine.” Harry said, grinning down at the kettle as he filled it at the sink. “And I’m Harry. Now I’m not a stranger.”

“Louis.” Louis stuck his hand out and Harry shook it.

“I know.” Harry grinned. He listened to the low rumble of the kettle as he pulled two mugs from the cupboard. He was nervous and quite excited to have Louis here but it was awkward as hell.

“Okay, I’ve got a confession.”

Harry’s head snapped up, making eye contact with Louis, who averted his eyes.

“Oh?”

“Well…” Louis said before sighing. “Every time I deliver pizza here, I hope you answer the door. I’ve been wanting to ask you out for ages but it’s always Zayn or Niall who answers the door.”

Harry stared at him for a couple of seconds, before inhaling deeply.

“Yeah? So why tonight?”

“Finally got to speak to you, didn’t I?” Louis beamed. “And you were exactly how I thought you would be.”

Harry let out a loud laugh at that.

“Oh, no, what you saw of me earlier isn’t really me.” He shook his head, feeling his curls bounce around on his cheeks as he smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“God, I was trying to flirt, and I suck at flirting, my brain just seeped out of my ears and all sense of how to be a functioning human being went out the window.”

Louis was laughing now, a lot. Harry’s cheeks tinged pink, smiling as he filled the teapot.

“Oh, Harry, stop.” Louis smiled. “You’re very cute. So you were trying to flirt with me, hm?”

Harry poured the tea, stirring in some of the stolen milk and handed a cup to Louis.

“Well, you’re gorgeous. You can’t blame me.”

“You know what I always hoped? I hoped I’d bump into you in a club or something. I’d have found it so easy to talk to you that way, dance with you a bit.” He shrugged, looking down at the floor and smiling. “Take you home.”

“Weird, isn’t it?” Harry laughed awkwardly. “How much easier it is in that environment. The alcohol helps, of course.”

Louis placed his tea on the counter next to him, spreading his legs slightly, an action which didn't go unnoticed by Harry. when he looked back up Louis was looking at him, either beckoning him with his eyes or mocking him; Harry chose to believe the former and slowly approached Louis, slotting in between his legs and placing his palms either side on the counter. Louis looked down at him, placing his hands either side of Harry’s neck and stroking his thumbs along his cheeks, poking a thumb in the dimple that popped inwards. He pressed his knees either side of Harry.

“God, look at you.” Louis whispered. “Can I kiss you?”

Harry licked his lips, placing his palms flat on Louis’ thighs. He nodded. When their lips met Harry felt a surge of electricity, as if their souls had finally found each other and were fusing together. Maybe that was a bit premature.

“Mm?” Harry hummed as he pulled away. “You taste like pizza. That answers my earlier question.”

“I only had a slice.” Louis grinned.

Harry moved one hand to the small of Louis’ back, pulling him closer so his crotch pressed up against Harry’s stomach.

“This is all a bit weird, innit?” Harry whispered, willing the blood to stop rushing to his own crotch.

“You’re the one who talked me into coming into your flat before even the first date.”

“Mm.” Harry agreed, kissing him again. “You do this often?”

Louis pulled away slightly to look at Harry curiously.

“What? Come to customers’ houses after my shift and press against them?”

Harry laughed delightedly.

“No, Louis. I mean… casual encounters.”

Louis shrugged.

“Yeah, kinda.” He laughed.

“Okay.” Harry said, pulling him in for another kiss. They didn’t stop this time; they grew heated and filthy, Harry’s thumb grazing Louis’ growing erection through his jeans.

“I mean it, though.” Louis said, breathless as they parted for a few seconds. “You’re absolutely gorgeous. And Zayn’s told me all about you.”

“He what?!” Harry laughed indignantly. “None of it’s true!”

Louis hummed as he rutted up against Harry’s stomach slightly; they kissed again, hot and heavy, reluctantly parting as they heard the door slam.

“Those two are going AT it in there.” Niall scoffed, stopping in his tracks as he saw Harry and Louis in a compromising position on his kitchen counter. “Oh, fucking hell. Look, I’m going to my room and I _will_ be wearing earplugs.”

Harry looked at Louis apologetically as he jumped down from the counter.

“I’d better go, anyway.” Louis said, picking his mug up and downing his cup of tea in one. Harry was impressed. “I’ve got a lecture in the morning and anyway, I want to take you out first. I’m not easy, okay, Harry?”

“Funny,” Harry said, pinching Louis on the hip as they walked to the door, “you just said you had casual encounters often.”

“I didn’t come here to fuck you, I came here to ask you out, didn’t I?”

“Fair point.” Harry nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Louis told him, laughing when Harry gave him a questioning look. “I have a feeling you’ll be ordering a pizza.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun LOL I might do some more Friends inspired shorts! If you enjoyed this, please reblog the [Tumblr](https://catfishau.tumblr.com/post/171882649851/dinosaursmate-pizza-boy-by-dinosaursmate) post :)


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